If I could rewrite my very first post, it might go something like this...


I create my blog. I even write a post. I hit ‘publish’ and then I sit back and smile. I am feeling so clever and proud. My blog looks fantastic. My post is brilliant. Everyone is going to agree. The world is going to say, “How did we ever survive without Sue Elvis’ blog?” Sue Elvis Writes has hit the blogosphere and nothing will ever be the same again.

A minute goes by, and then another. I check my stats. No one has visited my blog. Five minutes… half an hour… an hour ticks by. Where is everyone? Why isn’t everyone flocking to read my very first post? “WHERE ARE YOU WORLD?” I shout.

And then I realise I have forgotten something very important. I know about my blog. My family knows about it too. But does the world?

Surely the world is aware that something momentous happened today. A huge electromagnetic wave must have swept through the blogosphere the moment I pressed ‘create blog’. Everyone must be asking, “What does that wave mean?” I shall tell them: "It was me! It was my blog coming into existence! Sue Elvis Writes has arrived!" 

But how will I do that?

I sit quietly, deep in thought for a few minutes, and then this brilliant idea hits me. Who is the biggest name in the blogosphere? Who is famous for his deep and probing blogging interviews? Who has the power to make or break a new blogger? Bob Blogosphere, of course. All I have to do is get Bob to interview me and instantly I’ll have fans flocking to my blog. It will be overrun with readers. They will be astonished. They will be amazed. And I will be famous.

I brush my hair, grab a few photos, click my mouse a few times and before I know it, I am outside the Blogsphere News Building where Bob works. I glance at my watch. Bob is as regular as clockwork. In two minutes, he will emerge through that revolving door. He will go to the gym. He will work on his muscles. He will eat a healthy lunch. Well, he would if this were a normal day. But today he will do none of that. Today he will want to interview me. When Bob Blogosphere hears about my fantastic new blog, he won’t be able to resist. He’ll write a story about Sue Elvis Writes. It will get published in the Blogosphere News. Everyone will read it. Everyone will link to it. Yes, I shall be famous.

I stand by the door and wait. The door whizzes round and Bob makes his entrance onto the street. He looks left and then right. He smiles at his fans. He waves. He adjusts his sunnies.

“Mr Blogosphere,” I say. “I have a new blog…”

“Everyone has a new blog,” he interrupts, striding off down the road at full pace.

“But I’m sure you want to know about mine,” I say, running to keep up with him. “You could interview me.”

“Why would I want to interview you?” he asks, barely glancing in my direction. “Anyway, who are you?”

“Me?” I say rather breathlessly. (I’m not as fit as Bob Blogosphere.) “I’m Elvis’ wife.”

Bob Blogosphere comes to a sudden halt, and I bump into him.

“Elvis’ wife?”

“Yes,” I say. “And I have a new blog.”

“Well, why didn’t you say so?” Bob grabs my arm and we retrace our steps to the Blogosphere News Building. The gym has been forgotten. The healthy lunch has been forgotten. Bob Blogosphere can smell big news. And he’s going to be the first to report it… like always.

We enter the elevator, and shoot to the top floor of the building. People scatter left, they scatter right, as Bob strides to his office with me in tow.

“I’m going to be busy for a while… a big interview,” he says. “No phone calls, no messages, no interruptions of any sort.”

Bob pushes me into a chair and settles himself behind his desk. His computer is open. He is ready.

“So you’re Elvis’ wife?” he says.

I nod.

“Well, tell me about your blog.”

Part 2 to follow

Post a Comment

  1. Me? I'm waiting breathlessly for the next installment from Elvis' wife. I hope she's busy at work on it even as I write this comment, because I just can't wait... for real!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nancy,

      I know... I'm crazy! Well, I least I suspect I am. Maybe you are too as you're waiting breathlessly for the next instalment of this silly story! I intended to write the whole post in one go but it grew and grew, so yes, there will be a part 2. It's written in my head. I just need to type it out. I hope it comes out as well as I imagine it!

      Thank you for sharing my new very first blog post ever. See you soon for Part 2!

      God bless!

      Delete
    2. And now I'm laughing all over again at your words about me being (maybe! - you only said maybe!) crazy too as I wait breathlessly for the next installment. But of course you're sleeping soundly as I sit staring at the screen over here on the awake side of the world. Looks like it's gonna be a long day.....

      Delete
    3. Nancy,

      You are making me smile. Do you ever have funny thoughts or stories and wonder if anyone else will think they are funny too? I posted this story wondering if I'd be the only person to laugh. Well, I am so glad you are laughing with me!

      Part 2 is written. It just needs a bit of polishing. I thought of a few changes while we were driving to town this morning (we went to a big parish lunch), so I will fix the story up this evening, and then I will share it! I hope it's not a disappointment after all the anticipation.

      Delete
  2. This is hilarious!! I was laughing so hard!

    I didn't really think you would write it :) My mistake! This is an awesome post, Sue!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary,

      You didn't think I would write it? Mary, sometimes my brain works in strange ways. This silly idea popped into my head and I just knew I'd have to try writing this story. Thank you so much for being kind enough to laugh. Isn't it great being able to share a laugh from opposite sides of the world?

      God bless!

      Delete
  3. I hope you don't mind that I linked to this post, Sue - it really tickled my funny bone!

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    Replies
    1. Mary,

      I was honoured you linked to my post. Thank you! Your poor unsuspecting readers must be wondering if I am crazy, after landing here.

      "tickled my funny bone!" Humour is like that, isn't it? Some things are funny to one person, and pure silliness to someone else. So glad we can laugh at the same things.

      God bless!

      Delete
  4. What a delight..... thank you for sharing... blessings.

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    Replies
    1. Mary,

      It is so lovely of you to stop and comment. Thank you! I hope you share part 2 when I post it. More silliness!

      God bless you!

      Delete
  5. Sent here from The Beautiful Gate. So funny. I can so relate. I jump for joy even when I get a spam comment. It's better than nothing, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kathleen,

      Mary has sent some of her beautiful unsuspecting readers to my crazy blog. I am glad you laughed. Thank you for following Mary's link.

      Spam comments? I always read mine before I delete them. Much better than nothing!!

      God bless!

      Delete
  6. This looks fun! and I am betting your blog stats are already going sky high! Hee Hee!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Monica,

      I am sure you are right: Some unsuspecting Elvis Presley fans will find themselves on my blog by mistake, and boost my stats. It's happened before. I guess it's inevitable with a name like ours!

      Thank you for reading and smiling and stopping to say hello!

      God bless.

      Delete
  7. Too funny. I hope you post the installment soon --like before I go to Mass so I don't my thoughts don't wander to the suspense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anabelle,

      Now you are making me laugh! Suspense? How frightening to think people are waiting to hear the next instalment. What if the second post falls flat?

      Thank you so much for reading.

      God bless!

      Delete
  8. My cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing through this post. I can see myself in Elvis' wife :-). I'm off to read part 2!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Elizabeth,

      "I can see myself in Elvis' wife." Now I am intrigued. You couldn't possibly be as proud and attention seeking as Elvis' wife. She really does think too much of herself and her blog... I know! You mustn't be as fit as Bob Blogosphere! But don't worry about that. He's superfit and even Elvis' wife who is a 5 K runner can't keep up with him.

      Thank you so much for reading!

      Delete

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