I’m walking along the road, minding my own business when bang! someone walks right into me. The next moment I’m lying splat on the footpath.

“Are you okay?” I hear a familiar voice: a smooth, deep and distinctive voice. It could only belong to one person: Bob Blogosphere.

I scrape myself off the ground, and soon I am standing face-to-shoulder with the most important man in the whole blogosphere. He narrows his eyes. He stares at me. He takes off his sunnies and looks at me again. And then he smiles, revealing his perfect white teeth. “Sonia!” he cries. “Lovely to see you!”

“Sue,” I say.

“Sue?”

Bob shrugs his shoulders. Details, details. How can he be expected to remember the name of an ordinary blogger like me?

“Are you okay?” Bob repeats.

I brush myself down. I check all my bones. Yes, I seem to be in one piece. 

“Maybe you need to sit down for a moment,” says Bob. “Can I buy you a coffee?” He doesn’t wait for an answer - who has ever refused an invitation to have coffee with Bob Blogosphere? – and sets off down the road with me in tow. 

A few minutes later we arrive at the trendiest cafe in town. It's the place to 'be seen'. (I've never been here before.) Bob smiles and nods to everyone as he guides me to a table at the edge of the room. He pulls out a chair and pushes me into it. I find myself facing the wall. Bob slides into the seat opposite me and glances around. He does some more smiling and some more nodding.

A waiter appears. Coffee is ordered. Bob says, "Sue…” And then his phone rings. No, that's not quite right. Bob’s phone applauds. It applauds very loudly. Everyone in the room looks up. Bob smiles. He cuts off the applause with a press of a button and announces, “Bob Blogosphere!

“Yes… yes…” he says. “The A – Z Blogging Challenge? Yes… Miss Bell, set up a meeting with the organisers for this afternoon.”

Bob turns off his phone and leans towards me. “The A – Z Blogging Challenge! It's going to be huge! So far 1798 bloggers have signed up.” He pauses. He sips his coffee. “Just think of all those blog posts: 1798 bloggers writing 26 posts each... that’s… ” I can see the numbers whirling around in Bob’s head. They keep whirling and whirling. He frowns. “Well, whatever that comes to…it’s an awful lot of posts.”

“I’m going to write 26 of those posts,” I say.

“You?”

“Yes, I’m blogger number 1521. I did the challenge last year. Remember?”

Bob is silent for a moment. He screws up his face. He holds his chin. He stares into space. And then the light comes on. He says, “Yes, I remember! You didn’t do very well at all, did you?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that,” I protest. “I think I wrote some rather good posts.”

“It’s just a pity no one else thought so,” says Bob. “You didn’t get many people stop by to comment, did you?”

“Lots of friends wrote comments…”

“Friends don’t count!” says Bob, shaking his head. “You didn’t attract any real followers, did you?”

“Well, no,” I admit.

“You didn’t take my advice. You didn’t write about anything interesting. What did you write about?” Bob leans towards me. “I’ll tell you! You wrote about sad stuff and faith and…”

I interrupt Bob. “I wrote about you.”

Bob smiles. “You did?”

“Yes, twice.”

“I bet those were popular posts.”

They were but I’m not about to tell Bob that. I sip my coffee.

“So what are you going to write about this year?” asks Bob.

“Clothes.”

“Clothes?” Bob looks down at his immaculate outfit. He runs his hand over his perfectly trimmed buzzcut. He glances at his designer sunnies perched on the table. Then he looks me up and down. (I’m wearing a rather shabby denim skirt and tee shirt.) “What do you know about fashion?” he says.

“Nothing,” I admit. “But I’m not going to write about fashion. Do you realise there are hundreds of stories connected with our clothes?”

“There are?”

“Yes, clothes are very important. We associate them with lots of different occasions and memories and emotions.” The words spill out of my mouth. I have lots of blogging ideas I want to share with Bob.

 “Very interesting, I’m sure,” Bob says. He looks at his watch. “I’d like to hear more but I have a meeting with the organisers of the A – Z Challenge this afternoon. I’d better get back to my office…” He drains the last of his coffee from his cup.

“I once wrote a story about a funeral dress,” I say.

Bob rolls his eyes as he replaces his cup on its saucer. “You want some advice?” I don’t but he gives it to me anyway. “Write something people will enjoy. Something amusing. Have fun. Be a bit crazy.”

I smile. “Funny you should say that, Bob. Someone left a comment on my blog telling me to do just that.”

“Someone did?”

“And so I’ve been thinking… I have an undies story that involves a peg…” I stop and smile. I’m thinking of my other undies story. My smile turns into a grin. “Did you ever read my stiff undies story?”

But Bob’s not listening. He's looking at his watch again. He rises from his chair.

“I could write a post called No Clothes,” I say. "It's not that kind of post," I add quickly. "And I could write about thongs but then again, my American friends might get the wrong idea.” I am day dreaming. Items of clothes from A - Z are whirling around in my imagination.

“Thanks for the coffee!”

Thanks for the coffee? I shoot back to the present moment. “Bob?” But Bob has gone.

All that is left is the bill.

  • Will I have fun with the A – Z blogging challenge? 
  • Will I write any sad stories despite Bob's advice?
  • Will I be a bit crazy?
  • Will I write about Bob?

Stay tuned to find out!




Image: Crazy Hair by Mihai Bojin, (CC BY 2.0)




Post a Comment

  1. I think your posts are very balanced. I really enjoyed this one. So what if you don't get any new followers. Quality over quantity right? And imagine how we would feel if you had so many, you were unable to converse? On those blogs that have a million comments, I rarely respond, since it feels like I'm commenting into cyberspace. Wait??.. I may have it all wrong though. I'm a bit old school and not always up on what is proper, I guess.

    Well anyway, I'm really looking forward to what you have to say.
    Take care.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michelle,

      Oh yes! Lots of followers sounds like fun until I realise how hard it would be to keep up with them all. I do love to chat with people who stop by, and I wouldn't be able to do that if I got dozens of comments. I rarely write comments on 'big' blogs either. I imagine my comment will get lost among all the others and perhaps no one will read it, so why bother? Michelle, I have no idea what's proper either!

      Thank you so much for your encouragement. I look forward to sharing my stories with you!

      Delete
  2. I am looking forward to it! And since I don't know you in "real" life, that must make me a "real" follower. Good luck and have fun.

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    Replies
    1. Kathleen,

      Oh I love your reasoning. And I'm happy to know I have a real follower (despite what Bob said!). One more day to go... I'm sure it'll be great fun. Thank you for your encouraging comment!

      Delete
  3. "....Wait ... wait... wait!!!! I'M a 'real' follower! Oh Mr. Blogosphere.... wait...!" I stop to catch my breath as Bob looks back at me in disdain. His eyes narrow. "But aren't you a friend of Sue's?"

    "Well, yes, I hope I am Sir, yes." I gulp. "But you see, I was a fan first. That is, I was and am a fan and now I hope I'm a friend but I'm a fan because I started reading Sue's blog and loved it so much that I became a fan and then I left a comment and she was so nice to respond that I commented again and I now feel like she's a friend because she's so kind and fun and funny and real and a born storyteller and her posts, well...."

    "Mr Blogosphere. Sir." I straighten my back. I feel a sudden burst of courage coursing through my veins. "When I was a child, I used to read stories and hate for them to end. So I continued my favorites in my head and sometimes on paper. That is, if I really loved the stories. I had to really LOVE the stories to do that. Sir. They had to be the best. The very, very best. Their characters had to step off the page and be part of my life, too."

    "Your point?"

    "My point, Sir, is that here I am, looking square into your eyes. Telling you that I consider myself a friend of Sue's. But I am always and forever, one of her many fans."

    And I can hardly wait (I think to myself, but don't tell Bob) to read Sue's A to Zs about clothes......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nancy,

      Oh my! You wrote a Bob Blogosphere story of your own! It was so good. Thank you! Poor Bob. He has a lot to learn about what's really important in life. Fans are good. Friends are better. Friends who are fans... well, I must say your encouragement is wonderful. I now feel I can write 26 posts in 30 days while standing on my head! Easy!

      Thank you so much Nancy. I do appreciate the time it took you to write that story for me. Next time we chat here on this blog, we'll be discussing clothes...

      Delete
  4. I just love your Bob meetings. I could feel my face pulling into a huge smile as I saw his name. You are going to rock the A-Z challenge and it's going to be such fun reading your stories! I really have the biggest smile right now ... Bob always cracks me up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa,

      I'm glad you like Bob. He needs friends. Thank you so much for smiling at my story!

      I've been thinking about the challenge. I'll need some short stories. I received an email today saying the recommended number of words is 100 - 300. Wow! Could I tell a story in so few words? I don't think so! Anyway, I've got some post ideas worked out. I think it'll be fun. It will be so good to share the challenge with you. I'm looking forward to reading your posts. Did you manage to pre-write any of them? I'll see you at the challenge tomorrow!

      Delete
  5. Love your Bob Blogoshphere stories, Sue! I can't believe it;s the time of year again for the A to Z...How could it be a year already? I think I first met you during the challenge last April! Not sure how...maybe one of your posts linked somewhere? So I guess I, like Nancy, was a follower first, and then became a friend!! I'm def both: friend and follower!
    Looking fwd to reding every one of your 26 challenge posts, Sue! I give you credit!

    Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog last night! You're a doll

    Enjoy your Monday, Sue!

    xxoox

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    Replies
    1. Chris,

      Yes, we've been friends for a year! We met via your Memoir Monday link-up. I linked a couple of my A - Z stories.

      It's so nice of you to like Bob. Do you remember reading one of his stories during the challenge last year? You wondered if I was writing about a real person. Oh imagine if Bob was real...

      You are going to read all my challenge posts? You are a good friend indeed. Thank you! With that encouragement I can hardly fail to write all 26 posts.

      I hope you had a wonderful birthday, Chris!

      Delete

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