Bob Blogosphere is a fictional character. If you'd like to hear the beginning of his story, please read my post Me? I'm Elvis' Wife.
This story is for Anabelle who writes at the blog, Written by the Finger of God.
I hear a knock and when I open my front door, I see a man slouched against the wall, his head hanging low. It’s Bob Blogosphere.
“Bob!” I say.
He raises his head and I notice his pale face. There’s dark circles under his eyes, and a deep line etched on his forehead.
“Bob!” I repeat. “Come in.”
Bob, the most famous man in the blogosphere, shuffles over the threshold, without saying a word. He drops carelessly into an armchair. After looking at his feet for a moment - I notice he’s wearing odd socks - he raises his eyes and they meet mine. Is that fear I see?
“Is anything the matter, Bob? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Not a ghost,” says Bob. “It’s worse. I've seen God. I saw His finger. It was pointing straight at me.” He gulps. “God said, ‘Take Anabelle to Mass.' So I did."
“Yes, Anabelle… that blogging friend of yours. We went to a shrine and there were pews and statues and crucifixes…And I found myself saying all kinds of religious things.” Bob shivers.
I don’t understand. “Anabelle’s a great person. And Mass is good. Why are you so upset?” Before Bob can answer, I add, "Actually Bob, I can't imagine you in a church talking about faith stuff. Are you sure you weren't dreaming?"
"Of course I was dreaming!" says Bob, his voice rising. "I'm not religious!"
Then his voice softens, and a small smile appears on his face. "I felt comfortable and at home in that church... so peaceful. I knew exactly what to do and say." Then his voice changes again. His words tumble out in a rush: "Of course, crazy things like that happen in dreams."
"I wonder why you had such a strange dream, Bob."
"It was a prefigurement, a foreshadowing of something that's about to happen!" Bob's voice is rising again. He stands up and begins pacing up and down the room. "I've just been invited to a Catholic wedding. I have to enter a church. I need to look calm and cool, just like I did in my dream." He sighs.
"Bob, don't worry. You can go inside a church without knowing what to do. Everyone will be very friendly. No one will stare at you."
Not stare at Bob? That was the wrong thing to say.
"Of course everyone will stare!" Bob turns towards me, his eyes flashing. "I'm Bob Blogosphere. People expect me to know everything. I'm perfect, you see. And there’ll be reporters at the wedding with cameras. My performance inside the church will be beamed all around the world. Everyone will see me.”
“Performance? Won’t the cameras be too busy filming the bride and groom?”
Bob suddenly stands tall. He tucks in his shirt and raises his nose into the air. “Oh no! No one will be interested in them. They’re not famous… like me!”
“So what’s all this got to do with me, Bob?”
“Well, you know about this faith stuff. You’re Catholic aren’t you? You can give me some lessons, tell me what to do.”
I hide a smile behind my hand. Bob wants me to tell him about faith stuff?
“Of course, you can’t tell anyone. It has to be our secret.”
“If I help you, will you write an article about my blog for the Blogosphere News?”
Bob waves my question away. I sigh.
- Will I give Bob lessons on the Catholic faith?
- Will he believe what I tell him?
- Will he appear calm and cool at the wedding?
- Will he impress the reporters?
- Will anyone notice the bride and groom?
Stay tuned to find out!