B'elton John by SuperFantastic 

Most people think I’m just ‘Andy’s wife’ or ‘Imogen’s mother’ or the woman with lots of kids. When I go out, I don’t attract much attention. Perhaps everyone thinks I have a very ordinary life. But they're wrong. I don't.
  
I close my front door on the world. I look right and then I look left. Is anyone looking? I whip out my computer. I slam my glasses onto my nose. I toss back my superhero cape. I flex my fingers. Then I start typing.

I’m Sue the Blogger and Sue the Writer. I have a secret identity. And nobody knows.

Except for Mr G who lives down the road.

One day my son Callum says, “I saw Mr G today. He’s going to leave a DVD about quitting sugar in our mailbox, next time he walks by.”

I think about this for a moment. “How does Mr G know we’ve given up eating sugar?”

Callum shrugs his shoulders. “Does he read your blog? Did he read your post about the Christmas pudding collection?”

Did Mr G read the following words in my post Another Christmas Pudding Collection?

Then one day as I was standing at the check-out at Big W I glanced to my left, and there was this book staring at me: I Quit Sugar. It was shouting, “Read me! Read me!” I didn’t want to read it. I was doing my best to ignore it, but then I noticed it was on special. I can’t resist a bargain. I bought the book and took it home. But I didn’t read it. I said to my daughters, “Have a look at this book. Find out if sugar is bad for us.” That was a mistake.

I know all my words are floating out there in public where anyone can read them. My blogs are very easy to find. All you have to do is google my name. But Mr G wouldn’t have had any reason to do that, would he? So how did he find out my secret?

The DVD lands in my mailbox: Sugar v Fat, a BBC documentary. It looks interesting. I must remember to thank Mr G the next time I see him.

My opportunity soon arrives. I’m walking along our road, on my way to the village store, when Mr G drives past. He winds down his window and I say, “Thank you for the DVD.”

“I read your post about the Christmas pudding.”

“You did? How did you find my blog?” I ask.

“Oh, I was googling something to do with cars, and one of your posts turned up in the search results. It was one of your posts about Callum and his cars.”

My secret life isn’t as secret as I thought. Oh my! I shall have to be more careful about what I write. What if I write something I shouldn’t? What if the wrong person reads it?

Do you remember my dead body story, There’s a Dead Body near Our Running Track?  I was going to write a sequel to that story. I was going to mention the name of a notorious criminal. Oh! It’s just as well I didn’t. What if he had read my post? I might have ended up as a dead body. I could have become a bad smell. I might have prevented my family from enjoying their runs down the bush tracks. I shudder. This blogging business is more dangerous than I thought.

It could also be dangerous writing about my neighbours. I must remember never to do that. Oh my! Too late. I’ve just remembered something. I did write about someone living close to me. I wrote about Mr G! I put him into one of my children’s stories. He’s been published. Mr G is in my new book The Angels of Abbey Creek. Should I think about moving house? Quickly?

Perhaps Mr G won’t mind being in my book. His character is rather nice, and he's not really him. I just borrowed a trait or two. Or maybe Mr G will never find out. Perhaps he doesn’t read my blog any more. He might not even know I’ve just published my first children’s novel..

But Mr G, if you are reading…

I watched the DVD. It was very interesting. And yes, I know I haven’t yet returned it. Next time one of the girls takes our puppy Nora for a walk, I’ll get her to pop it into your mailbox. Thank you for lending it to me. You are very kind!

Do you lead a secret life behind closed doors? Have you ever been found out? And do you like Christmas pudding? I do!


Post a Comment

  1. Oh, they have broken your cover :) I like your funny stories. And even if I'll never be famous in the Internet, like you and Bob Blogosphere, I very much enjoy our contact via blogs. Keep it (and appearances (like the innocent homeschooler)) up.

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    Replies
    1. Uglemor,

      It's funny how private it feels writing and posting, but how public it really is. I guess I should have used my superhero name and taken photos of me in disguise, to use on my blog, if I'd wanted to maintain my cover! As far as local friends go, I really do feel I lead a double life. When no one else writes and blogs, there's no reason to bring the topic up.

      I also enjoy our blogging contact. Great to share a few words and lots of smiles nearly every day!

      Delete
  2. Oh Sue, I love this!!! I am smiling in my identification. To my neighbors, I'm surely known as just a little invisible grandma who probably spends her afternoons in front of the television. They have no idea that... Ta DAAA! No TV for me! I secretly don the Blogcape and a pair of rhinestoned glasses exactly like yours and sneak into the Blogcave day after day. And they don't have a clue! (......... or DO they......??)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nancy,

      You a little invisible grandma? Haha! That it so funny. Spending your time in front of the TV soaps? If only they knew... Oh I do like the words blogcape and blogcave. Now why didn't I think of them? I love having a bit of fun with silly posts that you understand completely (and others may not!)

      Delete
  3. This is why you should be careful about what you blog about. I know I am. Not that anyone would find my blog, but just in case...

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    Replies
    1. Liz,

      Oh yes, we have to be very careful. I made a big mistake once which got me into a lot of trouble. I hope I never do that again! Not find your blog? That's what I thought! Yes, take care, just in case...

      It's lovely to see you on my blog. Thank you so much for stopping by!

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  4. I don't think I have had Christmas pudding. I think I would have a hard time giving up sugar. I don't have a secret life, I just don't have a well known blogging life, in that people around me know I blog, but no one I know, like family and friends, reads my blog except for my sister. I try to be very general when I write things so people might not be able to find out it was actually me unless of course they recognize Koda :) His is the only pictures of the family I'll put on my blog :)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Betty,

      Most of my American friends have never tasted Christmas pudding. It is a rich mixture of dried fruits, butter, sugar, and flour with brandy. Very good!

      When I started my blog I thought about keeping my identity quiet too. But I wanted to let people know about my grief book which has my name on it, and contains lots of details of my life, so I couldn't do that!

      I hope Koda copes with the fame of being a well known blogging dog!

      Delete
  5. Hi Sue! I loooooove this post. It speaks to the truth about being a blogger. I'm always surprised when someone mentions something that I wrote in one of my blogs, especially in The View from the Ladder. I like to think I don't have this look of alarm-and-ready-to-run on my face anymore. I have yet to taste Christmas pudding. Do you have a recipe I could try?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susie,

      How lovely to hear from you! I fear not everyone tunes into my sense of humour but I can see you do! Oh yes, I sometimes also think, "How do you know that?" and then realise that person must have been reading my blog. I feel at a disadvantage sometimes. My non-blogging friends know far more about me than I do about them.

      Christmas pudding is delicious! I don't have a recipe of my own, as I usually buy our puddings ready made. The are better if prepared some time before Christmas day, and I never seem to plan far enough ahead. My mother always used to make her own puddings. I can remember taking a turn (with my sisters) stirring the pudding, once all the ingredients were in the bowl, and making a wish.

      There are lots of ingredients in the pudding, and the types of dried fruits and nuts and alcohol can vary from recipe to recipe. Once the pudding is mixed, it is wrapped in calico and steamed.

      Here's a typical recipe but there are lots of others:

      http://www.exclusivelyfood.com.au/2007/11/christmas-pudding-recipe.html

      I hope you get a chance to taste Christmas pudding one day. It's delicious with brandy cream or even custard!

      Delete
    2. I like the idea of making a wish and steaming the mix in calico. It makes me think of "Anne of Green Gable". I'll check out the link, thank you very much. Maybe I'll give it a try before the summer is up.

      Delete
    3. Susie,

      If you make the pudding, I'd love to know if you like it. Don't forget to stir the mixture well and make a wish!

      Delete

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