Imogen asks, “What would you like for lunch, Mum?”

“A sandwich... or... anything will be fine.”

A few minutes later…

“Lunch is ready!”

We hurry to the table, and waiting for me on my plate is the last slice of the delicious three cheese pizza we had for dinner last night.

“You didn’t have to give me the left-over pizza,” I say. “Someone else might have liked it.”

“But we wanted you to have it. Because you’re the mother. You’re special.”

I have no choice. My daughters are very bossy. I eat my pizza and I enjoy.

Later that day, after dinner…

Sophie asks, “Can I pour you a glass of wine?”

I am about to say no but Sophie is eager to do something for me…

“Yes please! I’d love a glass of wine.”

“Take your wine and go and sit in a comfortable chair,” suggests Charlotte.

 “But there’s lots of dishes,” I protest. “I was going to help you with the washing up.”

“We can do that,” says Imogen.

“You’re the mother. You go sit down.”

“I’ll forget how to work,” I say. “I’ll become lazy.”

But the girls won’t listen to me.

“You’re very bossy,” I observe. “You’re always telling me what to do. You girls never let me do what I want.”

The girls grin. They are in charge.  So I take my wine and retire to a comfortable chair and I think…

I think about my daughters, who boss me about, who tell me what to do. It wasn’t so long ago they were completely dependent on me, and I had to do all the looking after…

I remember all those nights I’d have to rouse myself to feed a baby, change a nappy, take a child to the toilet, change wet bed sheets, soothe away fears… I have to admit that sometimes I hadn’t wanted to do any of that. I’d wanted to stay huddled down in my warm bed and stay asleep.

I enjoyed all those baby cuddles and little child smiles but… there were times when I yearned to knit or sew or go for a walk on my own, and I couldn’t because I had little ones to look after.

I was so eager to be a mother. I loved my young children so very much but…some days I wanted to run away, even if only for a while. Sometimes it was just too hard. I struggled on, trying to accept the sacrifices I had to make. I was certain life would never change.

But life does change…

Gemma-Rose climbs onto my lap. She strokes my face and says, “You’re tired.”

“How do you know?” I ask.

“You’ve got your tired face on. Being a mother must be hard work.”

It is hard work. It involves lots of sacrifices, especially when children are small and dependent. But it's worth it.  

“I love you, Mum. You’re so special.”

Yes, I am special. I'm special because I am a mother.That's a privileged role to have. I wouldn't change who I am for anything. 

Would you?

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  1. Young children have a special way of loving, don't they? I guess their whole world revolves around us. I'm finding things changing, right now, but it's a good change - more sharing than dependency, which is really enjoyable.

    It was a lovely post, Sue.

    God bless:-)

    1. Vicky,

      Yes, young children's love is very giving and unconditional. I found it so difficult to really express what I wanted to say in this post. I guess that when our children are very young we, the mothers, have to do a lot of giving. Sometimes the amount of giving feels almost beyond us. But children grow up and times change and I wonder if all our giving then returns to us. Our children learn to be giving and caring too, because they have had their needs fulfilled. That's what love is all about. I wonder if I am sounding even more confused!

      Times of change? Yes, nothing stays still forever. I like how you describe this change: "more sharing than dependency, which is really enjoyable." Children learn to work together and share the load and that is good! It feels so lovely when my children want to look after me instead of the other way around. When they were little, I didn't ever visualise a time when this would be happening. It's been a delightful surprise.

      God bless!

  2. Sweet reflections, Sue. You are nice than me. I might make them save that pizza for me in the first place. ;). One thing is for sure.......I have very bossy daughters, too. My boys are not far from behind. :). How old are your kids?

    One really nice thing lately: they keep makIng dinner without being asked. The whole lot of them. Very kind.

    God bless!

    1. Chari,

      I love been bossed about. I bet you do too!

      My children are: Felicity (25), Duncan (almost 24), Callum (20), Imogen (almost 18), Charlotte (almost 15), Thomas (would have been almost 13), Sophie (11), Gemma-Rose (8). We have a lot of birthdays coming up in the next few weeks!

      It sounds like you have some delightful children, Chari! Yes, when they are kind and helpful it really helps us to keep going. Mothering is so rewarding.

      God bless!

  3. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - you've obviously done a wonderful job of raising aware, empathetic children! :)

    1. Angela,

      Thank you for your kind words. I almost deleted this post last night. I thought what if everyone thinks I am boasting about my wonderful children? No one wants to hear a mother going on and on about their perfect children. But my children aren't perfect. They're very loving and delight me all the time, but I am guessing everyone's children are the same. I really wrote the story for myself so I will remember this lovely stage of mothering.

      I don't know why my children are so sensitive to my needs. Perhaps that is just children. They see and feel things adults don't. I am sure there is a special empathy between a mother and her children, especially when children are young.

      I didn't really write this story very well. I think I wanted to emphasise the awe I feel because I am a mother. Being surrounded by the love and care of my children is a real privilege, and I am surprised sometimes that I am here doing what I'm doing. I am so very blessed.

      Thank you for your comment!

  4. This is an old post! But still it says simply the truth of being a mother! Your daughters are great. What could you wish more?! I have a grown up daughter and a baby (and five in between). I have gone through all ages of bringing up kids and yet I am still at the begining again :) Getting up at night, being here for the little ones makes more sense then ever. I wish I would have done things better at my eldest daughters though, I some times think ...

    Btw - did this blog used to be the "Sue Elwis writing"- Blog?

    1. Bernice,

      I sometimes wonder how our eldest children survive our inexperienced mothering. But they do! Back at the beginning with a new baby... I am so happy for you though I imagine it isn't easy seeing to the needs of so many children of all ages. I hope you are getting enough rest. Perhaps your bigger children are helping you out. I always found it easy with my later children because I had lots of willing hands to help me. And it is such a joy having a baby in the family. I bet your older ones love having a little sister.

      Yes, this blog used to be Sue Elvis Writes. I felt like having a fresh start with a new blog name, but I didn't want to lose my old posts. They are full of memories! I had big plans to write lots of new posts here, but so far I haven't had the necessary time. Never mind. I'll get around to it eventually.

      God bless you and your family!


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